You are my sunrise, i am your sunset

All of a sudden like one of my journal pages, indifference and apathy was heavy in my heart but the sunset cured me... 

the ripe golden fire is a brilliant beauty against the pure blue pastel of balingoan sky... 

I feel the urge to write as thirsty as a lover.. Vicious as the easterly wind... 

I stopped writing for many nights and many days... 

many moonsets and many sunsets... 

I felt the pulse just to stop... 

the soul has to sleep and learn to dream again... 

the empty pages devours like a distant cold lover but sometimes simple text’s cab be as refreshing as the rain on a hot summer night... after many Sundays and Mondays without emails from someone dear to me, I discovered a new sense of strength from within... 

I feel alone and one with the whole creation... equal to the sun as the wind dances with the guitar shadows on the coco fiber curtain... 

it's amazing how ordinary things can turn to life... 

but can also be as devastating as hunger for life untamed can be an endless self-consuming desires... 

I felt many times I do not exist in your space for you need to be on your own and I need to allow that... 

many times my tantrums awaken my being.. 

my feet desires to flamenco with Luna from Bohum for this sweet little moon has made me felt the wisdom there is to life... 

she is my youngest teacher and you are the second youngest...

Shortly the wind was quiet then another blow makes me think of the distant mountain of the deepest sea where the star is born but no one can see.. 

The afternoon wind is as lazy as the calm sea... undisturbed by the engine roar, flat as a mirror, heavy but fluid, steady with linear ripples that looks like a commercial floor mat. Deep olive and blue grey water shimmer like the iced river. my thoughts are far that follows the ocean waves that stretches even to the farthest distant land... 

the ferry has maneuvered eastward breaking through the dark quiet sea... 

I sat at an isolated corner to avoid the noisy crowed and devil smoke of desolate smokers... for my head is preoccupied by endless ideas for the peace camp... 

now westward to the mainland, sunset is on my side. I accumulated several hundreds of thoughts while enjoying the children of the sea waiting for a turn to catch a coin thrown in the water by many strange faces coming out of a small island... 

my non-dominant hand is tipsy for my left hand has outgrown the age of agility. My fingers are stiff and frozen as unforgiving as blinding ocean glare of a wet sunset tail. the bubbles of the sea retraces the distance from the island moving farther and father... 

are you like my little island moving away... slowly our separation has given birth to new currents in between mundane routines... 

the sun is softer now, and so true with our memories... 

I feel like the sunset, resigned, ready to plunge in the deep and disappear in darkness... 

then I join the wide open sea and vanish like the day unnoticed... 

I feel alone with the sun and seems to be the only living conscious being mindful of the change in color of the stillness of the clouds and gentle descent of the sun... 

you are my sunrise... 

I am your sunset.. in the between that can be the thought that odds can be beautiful when it is not an emotional reckless abandon... 

you taught me patience when you are contained, distant and quiet... 

you taught me tolerance at the peak of your youth when water pipes are easily accessible on the table. you taught me contentment when calls are expensive and postponed and not as necessary as seeing an auntie... 

you taught me wisdom that love is not enough for a relationship is not an emotional tug of war... 

you taught me to giving for it is a much greater satisfaction to taste the irony like the bitter pill so situations can come and go easy on the taste buds like a sweet topping on a salad of expectations...

the boat ride slowed me down and tamed my empty bubbly corners... 

the clouds has turned silver from gold looking down at the cotton soft blanket of the volcanic peak in the other side of the ocean... 

my heart has settled down and found a sense of purpose in a life far from you... 

I am as insecure sometimes as a lost swan in the sea of your youth where my preferences seems not to matter... 

now the sky has ripened into a golden flare of nirvana that prompted my lazy hand to exhaust as few thoughts for you while my little feet and butt are dead... 

but I have to move for a bus ride awaits my restless spirit...